Send A Turd…

 

💩 The TURDS™ Collection

Because Everyone Deserves a Piece of Crap.

Handcrafted from top-tier synthetic stank artistry (a.k.a. fake poop), the TURDS™ Collection is the ultimate lineup of realistic, ridiculous, and completely harmless droppings you can send anywhere.

From Dog Poop Deluxe to Bigfoot’s Legendary Load, these masterpieces of mischief look shockingly real — yet smell like nothing more than sweet, sweet revenge.

Each turd arrives ready for chaos: boxed, bagged, and optionally labeled with a message like “You’ve Been Doodoo’d!” or shipped 100% anonymously for maximum mystery.

💩 The Lineup:

🐶 Dog Poop Deluxe – So realistic, you’ll question your carpet choices.
🐱 Cat Poop Classic – Small, smug, and strategically shaped for pure evil.
👨 Man Poop Supreme – Heavy-duty and disturbingly proud.
🌽 Corn Cob Poop – It’s… textured. (We’re both sorry and impressed.)
🦶 Bigfoot’s Poop – The legend lives on — and now, it’s on someone’s porch.

🎁 Why It’s the Ultimate Prank:

  • Realistic look and feel (100% fake, 1000% funny)

  • Non-toxic and odor-free (unless you add optional stink spray)

  • Ships anonymously or signed with your message

  • Perfect for birthdays, exes, nosy neighbors, or that coworker who deserves a “special delivery”

  • Optional add-ons: fake flies, caution tape, or “Poop Inspector” tag

💌 Optional Notes or Cards:

Anonymous:

“Someone thought you deserved this crap.”

Friendly Roast:

“Congratulations — you’ve finally made it to #2!”

Riddle Card:

“Brown and bold, a gift so neat,
Left with love, not from the street.”

Signed:

“Because sending flowers felt dishonest.”

⚠️ Disclaimer:

All items are fake. Non-toxic materials, no real poop (just real fun).
For entertainment use only. Not edible (seriously).


  • “Dropping laughs, one turd at a time.”

  • “The Number Two gift for Number One friends.”

  • “Crap happens. Send some.”